exceptional

“SOMEONE GREAT”

Do you think I can have one more kiss?

I’ll find closure on your lips and then I’ll go.

Maybe, also, one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner.

I’ll be full and happy and we can part.

But, in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time?

One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest.

My hope is if we add up the one more’s, they will equal a lifetime.

And I’ll never have to get to the part where I let you go.

But that’s not real, is it?

There are no more ‘one mores.’

I met you when everything was new and exciting,
and the possibilities of the world seemed endless.

And they still are.

For you.

For me.

But not for us.

Somewhere between then and now, here and there–

I guess we didn’t just grow apart

we grew UP.

When something breaks
if the pieces are large enough,
you can fix it.

Unfortunately, sometimes things don’t break.

They shatter.

But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter.

And in those moments – when the pieces of what we were catch the sun – I’ll remember just how beautiful it was.

Just how beautiful it will always be.

Because it was us.

And we were magic.

Forever.

I am still debating whether or not I will mail this or not as it is more for me than for you. I just found peace writing like I used to write to you when you were gone all those months. Anytime I needed to feel your presence, anytime I needed to decompress, I would sit and I would write. I remember one particular evening when it was raining and I was drinking tea, hoping you were staying dry in the mountains as I just sat and wrote. It felt like I had taken a long, deep breath. Everything felt still when I sat there and let the words flow. I knew you were there, even if I couldn’t see or hear you but this time is different. I need to write this and then let go. While you were unsure of us once, I said I would wait. I still hold that to be true, as I think that you’ll be the one that got away but I know that there is no more room for me in you.

I would not be who I am without you and though I believed we were meant to be – the sun is setting. Thank you for choosing me and loving me for as long as you did. You taught me that love was patient and love was kind. You showed me forgiveness and a love so pure, I thought it could overcome any obstacle. You might have been the one for me but I wasn’t the one for you. I thought love would always win and it did in a way, because a piece of you is always with me – the place where I find strength sometimes, even though you are no longer with me. You had a profound influence on me and now I can be great because of the way you loved me. I’ll never forget finding you on cold, December nights one year ago, the feeling of fresh air when we were together in each other’s arms, the breakfasts at iHop, and being extremely proud of you on June 25th.

yours always.